Tuesday 7 February

I’ve tried to write this quick word so many times but it keeps coming out wrong.  It seems I can’t simplify the complex.  I can’t even tell it as a story – it always finishes with me as a villain or a hero, neither of which is the point or the truth.

You see, I’ve been trying to put down in words this feeling I have that, despite once owning a WWJD – What Would Jesus Do – bracelet, I’m not actually sure how to be like Jesus, like God.  I feel like my personally leads me towards justice and judgement and yes, justice is a character of God.  But it’s not that simple is it?  The way justice manifests itself in my life often leaves no room for grace, for empathy.  And so I’ve started to realise that I can’t claim to be like God, or to becoming like God, or to be doing what Jesus would do, in only one way.  The fact that I love justice is not enough.  I must love all He loves.  I must have all the fruits of the Spirit, not just the ones that come naturally to me.  And I don’t know how.  I don’t know what to do to make that true.

I’ve begun to feel like I’m in a dance with God, only I know so little about the music or the steps, and I have two left feet.  So, if I’m to lead, or even to be a partner in the dance, I’ll always end up dancing my way to once corner of the room.

The thing is, I think I got it wrong somewhere along the line.  At some point I picked up the message that I can actually be like God.  That in fact it’s my purpose in life to become more like Him.  So I sit down and try to tell you how far from true that is and the words can’t come out right.

But that’s all wrong isn’t it?  For God doesn’t have an equal, and he never expected one in me.  No, my purpose is to love God and worship him.  He’ll do the work in me.  He’ll lead the dance while I stand on his feet, gazing up at his face in wonder.  As Psalm 95 (verse 1 – 7) puts it;

“Come, let us sing to the LORD!

      Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation.

 Let us come to him with thanksgiving.

      Let us sing psalms of praise to him.

 For the LORD is a great God,

      a great King above all gods.

 He holds in his hands the depths of the earth

      and the mightiest mountains.

 The sea belongs to him, for he made it.

      His hands formed the dry land, too.

 Come, let us worship and bow down.

      Let us kneel before the LORD our maker,

    for he is our God.

   We are the people he watches over,

      the flock under his care.”