As I tried to sit down to pray today my daughter began howling in the background, letting me know she wasn’t interested in having a sleep. The bread machine also started up – loud beeps reminding me I have things to do, do, do. In that moment I was overwhelming with the sudden knowledge that I have to share God so much of the time now – there are no empty hours. Even at church I have one eye on Elliot as she empties out my bag and another on the worship lyrics, their emotional call to give myself singularly to God go ignored.
After this realisation I had a choice – I could resent the demands on my time and attention, but how could I feel resentment? I love my daughter, I’m very aware that she is not mine by right but a gift from God. And though more full, I love the life I now led, being her mother, her carer 24 hours a day.
But I didn’t have to feel resentment. I realised I could feel peace and joy - I’m in a busy season of life, but I’m grateful for it, even if aware of some of the costs. The changes remind me of what I have gained.
Of course I can choose to love the season I’m in, but I still have the problem of trying to find a quiet moment, something I’m sure many parents can relate too! So I’m praying that God will help me find new ways and times that I can set my heart on him alone in this season of motherhood. David in the Bible had seasons of war and seasons of peace; times when he was a confidant of kings and times when they wanted to kill him. Yet in the beautiful Psalm 27 we find him saying;
“My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
(Psalm 27 v 8).
It might have to be in a different way than before but each day God invites me to come and talk with him. And I’m going to reply, Lord, I am coming. You show me how. Each day he says to you, ‘come and talk with me.’ How are you going to respond today?
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