I’ve had two conversations this last week which have reminded me of one of the least remembered of the 10 commandments – the command to not look over our shoulders and want what other people have (see post 'But I'm No Natasha Utting...' for more on my weakness in this area!).
The first was with a friend about the fact that she did more work than the mothers in her workplace. The job comes with overtime and weekend on-call work by its nature and if it wasn’t for seeing the way other people approach the extra work she wouldn’t be upset about it. It reminded me how I can feel pretty and cool in the morning only to have that feeling shattered by encountering a prettier, cooler mother at the library.
Similarly, another friend was unhappy that her husband didn’t seem interesting in some of the family traditions she saw in her friend’s families. Again I think the anxiety wasn’t coming from the activity but from the comparison. It reminded me how I can feel like I’m blessed to live in a wonderful home, only to feel like it is small and old after visiting a friend in a fancier house in a fancier suburb. I let myself live or die by comparing, and then coveting or feeling prideful, about what I see in others.
When giving us the ten commandments God told us:
“You must not covet your neighbour’s house. You must not covet your neighbour’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbour.”
And, as always, God told us this because God knows what he is doing!
Comparing what we have, how we look, our relationships or circumstances to others is either a path to feeling stink or proud, neither or which are great emotions. How do we combat this? Take time today to be grateful for what you have – ask God for eyes to see his fingerprints in your life and not only in the lives of others.
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